S.No 1

The world is carrying on in full speed, a pandemic rages on, people are killed, Kashmir is still there but not there, Umar Khalid is in prison for peace, hindutva “philosophy” floods my WhatsApp messages, there are policies to be drafted, roadmaps to be made, old coffee to be thrown, plants to be watered and hearts to be mended.

I am here in this giant cosmic mess, trying to cope with grief, anti-depressants, clonazepam, deadlines, unfinished paintings and unsent messages. I want to run, save the world, speak up, save my friends and my family and save myself. I want to figure out about god, I want to fall in love again and I just need all this noise to stop.

I need all of you to read this, there is an urgency, an urgency to get moving to get writing, to pin it down, underline, reiterate and summarise. Can’t you see! there is so much to do and say, but it is getting warm much too fast and we are literally running out of fuel and air that is breathable.

You see there is so much to write about, my life, your life, constitutional rights, human rights, the environment, the beauty of flowers and the ugliness of abuse. So I am writing, I am simply writing in the hope that I get all of it out soon enough, fast enough, before you forget me.

So here I am trembling, shit scared of judgement, swallowing hard, sweating at how you will judge me. But finally, truly, irrevocably, here I am.